ONE LITRE OF WATER, ONE MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB

Help! Tomorrow! How will I cope?

At 11.15 a.m. tomorrow I have to drink one litre of water and keep it inside me until 12.15 a.m. when I am to have a scan of my bladder to see why I am peeing so much.

Keep it in! Now, that's a mountain to climb for some-one who has a bladder problem. In fact, I have a whole water thing problem. I can pee for England, cry for England and retain water where it shouldn't be in my body for England. I wonder if it's because I'm a Piscean? And perhaps they could make peeing/crying/water retention into an Olympic sport and then I'd probably win a gold for Team G.B.

I also swim every day, apart from Saturday, which is usually reserved for sleeping.

So, obviously, there's a thing going on between me and water.

I phoned the relevant hospital department and said: 'The whole point of the scan is that I can't keep water in my bladder for longer than five of ten minutes. How can I manage one whole hour?'

'We're often asked that,' the receptionist replied helpfully. 'Why don't you come a little earlier?'

Not sure that that will help so I've had to resort to purchasing some incontinence pads. Yes, you read right. Incontinence pads! 'Cos I really don't like the idea of walking to Winchester Hospital with urine flooding down my trousers. I do have some pride.

I'll let you know how I get on.

(Lou will so tell me off for writing about my bodily functions but some-one has to do it. I mean, it's a most important subject and we all have to pee.)